~poem
I am losing my mind,
with no place to go.
lost in my mind,
with no hiding places to hide,
~carreer
SO, school was boring today, I can't wait to graduate, thats going to be a very emotional day for me. but anyway I have to finish this year and next year also. so I have two freaking years left.
I'm thinking that i want to be a therapist, I know that i'll be good at it. but i kind of want a job thats going to be on my feet and keeps me moving,but I don't know, i haven't really thought about any other jobs except being a therapist. I know i have a while to make up mind, but for the mean while i should probably study taking notes because lets face it i suck at it.
~busride home
yesterday was a very interesting day for me. SO when i got on to the bus yesterday after school, the bus was making a really funny noise, LIKE A WHISTLE, but i just figured that it was just the air shocks, well 15 minutes down the rode, the bus pulls over facing the wrong way, and just stops and i didn't hear the pop of the tire because of course i was blasting my music on my Ipod, but we got a falt tire.R eally far from my house and it sucked, we sat there for like a half hour for another bus to pick us up, and geuss which bus came? the little yellow specail bus, hilarious right? i know, well the ride home sucked worse because i could feel every bump in the rode, and people were shaking like jello and it was really cold the seats were super close the ground. i just wanted off. but I just couldn't help myself but to laugh about the whole things.
~thought about writting
I enjoy writting, maybe a little to much.
My best friend lives all the way in springfield Mo, and so I don't get to talk to her a lot anymore, but writting on the other hand, I tend to get a lot of my chest by writting it all down. I think sometimes that writting can heal people from depression, I think half the time when i'm depressed it's because i'm thinking about things to hard, and I can't get them out , and writting them out on a blank page is letting them out, causing me to feel better about what ever I just happen to be thinking about real hard. But I doubt i'll write half the things I think about on the internet, somethings aren't ment to be read, maybe heard by a friend or a therapist.
~Drugs
It's so hard to understand why some people use drugs, i'm talking about the hard drugs, every drug can hurt you in some way or form, but it hurts me to see my close family and friends on drugs, I haven't exsperience any friends on any hard drugs, but family I have, and I am ashamed to say that. and it hurts me to see them on it probably as much as them using drugs to heal what ever their going through. for example I have a family member on drugs well a couple that I know, and I know one of them is really hurting from my mother passing away, they haven't exactly healed yet from it, but their doing worse than I am, surprisely it isn't even that hard I think, but every person takes death a different way I suppose, And it's just part of life in my eyes, you can't keep everyone on earth, and people say I am a very cold hearted person for not crying over a death. But anyway back to drugs, My sister told me that this person is using drugs to feel better because their not exactly over the death yet, but what makes me so pissed off is that, yeah their hurting, but so is my sister and I, even though I don't show it like people expect me to. but them using drugs makes them feel better while it makes me worry about them, and their only thinking about themselves, and it just upsets me that instead of talking about it, they run to drugs to get a high. while its just makes things worse. they haven't tried calling me to see how i am, even though their supposed to be my rolemodel and help me through life, but how can someone help me, if they can't even help themselves at this stage.
I feel like its my job to look after them, but their adults and i'm still a teenager, wearing big girls shoes. I'm not going to let this pull me down with them, i'll never turn to drugs for answers. the only thing drugs do for you, Is make things worse. not only for yourself but for the people that have to watch you tumble down, and it's going to hurt a lot more, when they have to hit rock bottom. if they even make it there.
~Amandaohyeah
